10 Worst movies of 2008

We have a ten way tie for the worst movies of 2008:

1) What Happens in Vegas

Ordered by a judge to serve  six months of “hard Marrage” – what could possibly go wrong with this premise… everything. 

1) Twlight

The “in” vampire fad, needs to please go away. Or as South Park puts it, anyone who thinks they’re a vampire is retarded. 

1) The Day the Earth Stood Still

I rank this up there with some of the most disappoint events in my life. I really had high hopes for his movie. And while it’s suckiness may not be worthy of the top ten worst list, I’m still mad at its over all suckiness, so here it is. 

1) Meet the Spartans 

Rule of thumb. Parody movies are not funny.

1) W.

Not only did the filmmakers screw up almost every fact in the movie, the acting sucked. 

1) Religuluous

Bill Maher is a moron. He goes out and talks to crazy religious people in order to poke fun at the beliefs held by 90+% of the people on the planet. 

There is a reason you are in the minority Bill. Deal with it. 

1) The Alphabet Killer

This could have been a great movie. Eliza Dushku is a great actress and does a wonderful job with this lousy script. This film is based on a real life unsolved murder mystery. The facts of the case make the story really interesting, but the film makers couldn’t decide if they were making a horror movie, a ghost story, or a crime drama. The blend of the three don’t work.

1) The Love Guru

This movie was such a mess. Mike Myers needs a new agent. 

1) Passengers 

I saw the “surprise ending” a mile away. Epic Fail. 

1) While She Was Out

The movie tries to hard, and like Passengers, the big twist at the end is so unbelievable, it makes the whole movie fail. And what the hell, I will spoil it so stop reading if you want to see this garbage of a movie. 

They really want us to believe this housewife, devoted mom of two would kill her husband? Every after all the crap she had to deal with that night? Her going home and packing the kids suite case and then leaving the house is how the film SHOULD have ended and would have been a much more reasonable reaction. 

Instead, she comes home kisses her children and tells them she loves them. Then goes down stairs and shoots her husband in the face. Then the film dramatically cuts to black and roles the credits. What the hell would come next?

She is obviously going to go to prison and lose her children. I refuse to believe she would survive all the events of that night to throw it all way in the end.

10 Best Movies of 2008

deleted

Review of – I am Legend (2007)

“Nothin’ happened the way it was supposed to happen.” – Robert Neville

Synopsis

Each afternoon when the sun is highest in the sky, Robert Neville waits. He sits on a pier under the shadows of a destroyed Brooklyn Bridge with the anticipation of encountering other human life. Months slowly turn into years as he waits in vain. He’s the lone survivor of a deadly virus that has apparently killed off all of the human race. All but a few, who hide in the shadows and wait for dusk. When the sun goes down, they come out and Robert Neville goes into hiding. He waits bunkered down in his steel enforced apartment and prays that another nights goes by where he is undetected.

Each afternoon when the sun is highest in the sky, Robert Neville waits. He sits on a pier under the shadows of a destroyed Brooklyn Bridge with the anticipation of encountering other human life. Months slowly turn into years as he waits in vain. He’s the lone survivor of a deadly virus that has apparently killed off all of the human race. All but a few, who hide in the shadows and wait for dusk. When the sun goes down, they come out and Robert Neville goes into hiding. He waits bunkered down in his steel enforced apartment and prays that another nights goes by where he is undetected.

My Review

In 1954, author Richard Matheson penned I Am Legend and instantly breathed new life into the modern zombie and vampire genre. In his book, Robert Neville is the sole survivor of a world wide catastrophe. During the night scores of men and women roam the streets infected by a rapid bacteria based virus that has turned them into vampires. They wait outside of Neville’s house screaming his name. They want his blood, they want him to join them. At dawn, the vampires who were not able to get into hiding are killed because of the powerful light of the sun. It’s only as this time Robert Neville is safe to come out of his fortified home and begin his daily routine. He must fix the windows and make sure they are still secure. After violent attacks the planks would be split or pried off, and he’d after to replace them. He then goes about gathering up all of the dead bodies so he can dispose of them. After this he goes out looking for them, trying to find their hiding place so he can kill them before they have the chance to kill him.

This story has become so successful, that it inspired countless other novels and movies. Stephen King has said, “I am Legend was one of the most frightening and fascinating books I’ve ever read.” He later said, “Without Richard Matheson, I would not be around.” George A. Romero has said numerous times that I am Legend was a major influence for him in his magnum opus “Night of the Living Dead.”

The book has been adapted for film two times prior to Francis Lawrence 2007 version. The first was in 1964 and called “The Last Man on Earth.” And again in 1971 as “The Omega Man.” Both films strayed from Matheson’s work to various degrees. The end results often left fans of the book sad and unsatisfied. So imagine the surprise and anticipation when the trailer was released for the third film version of the book, starring none other then Will Smith! I count myself as one of those huge fans of the book, who could not wait to see how the film maker would treat the masterpiece that is Matheson’s book.

I am happy to report that most of what I have to say is positive. However, film could have been so much more amazing had they gone with an alterative ending they shot but failed to use. The film opens with a news anchor interviewing Dr. Alice Krippin who is there to announce she has successfully re-engineered the measles virus to be “helpful, rather then harmful.” She reports a one hundred percent cure rate in all of her clinical trials. Out of 10,009 patients with cancer, she has cured them all.

Three years later we are transplanted to an empty and abandoned New York City. We see no signs of human life at all. Until we see a red Ford Mustang GT flying down an empty street. Hello, Mr. Neville. Will Smith plays Robert Neville exactly how I pictured him in Matheson’s novel. He is a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Army and also a microbiologist specialized in the field of virology.

We learn from a sequence of flashbacks, that the Krippin cure had mutated into a very contagious and deadly strain of the virus. Almost all humans and animals are infected and the entire population of the planet is pretty much wiped out. Those who didn’t die have developed a nasty and aggressive personality. Much more akin to zombies rather then vampires as in Matheson’s tale. Still the same we see hints that these zombie like creatures have intelligence and organizational skills.

Like the book, during the night Neville takes shelter in his home. While the zombies roam and terrorize outside. However, one significant difference is the zombies do not know where Neville lives. He has made sure for the past three years to always cover his tracks. This is important as it is the number one reason Neville believes he is safe.

One of Neville’s primary routines each day is the study and research of a cure for the disease that has ravaged the planet. He tries new potential antidotes on rats and other infected animals. When it shows possibility with them he then sets traps and tries to captures one of the zombies. After several dozen human tests, he has still not found a cure. He has done a meticulous and precise job to document everything and even keep his data on six different hard drives of his computer (a sleek, futuristic looking iMac).

Neville’s continuous failure to find a solution to the world wide epideictic might have been too much to handle for anyone one man, but luckily for his weaning sanity, he has his family dog Sam as a companion.

I am Legend is a scary a decent adaption of the Richard Matheson’s novel. It’s certainly the best version of the film made, and when you add the alterative ending to the film the director shot buy failed to use, you turn this movie from decent into perfect.

In the theatrical version of the movie, you see the zombies as mindless killing machines, the glimpses of humanity and intelligence are fleeting and don’t add up to anything in the end. The irony and twist to the original story is completely lost.

This was beyond exasperating. They had Will Smith, the perfect actor to play Robert Neville and just settled on making a scary, post-apocalyptic movie. And if that was all they were aiming for, then congratulations, you succeeded. I give this version of the film three out of four stars.

However, Francis Lawrence shot an alternative ending that if used would have made the movie one of the greatest horror films ever created. In this version, we see that the zombies are not just mindless killing machines after all. And they don’t necessarily care all that much about being “cured.” What they would like is to have Robert Neville stop killing them! They see all of his experiments as torture and murder. The entire film had been flipped on it’s head and you have to really analyze who was really the “bad guys” in the end. This is exactly the twist we have in the book, only to a slightly different degree. This version of the film receives four out of four stars.

Cast

• Will Smith as Robert Neville
• Abby (and sometimes Kona “the Stunt Dog”) as Sam
• Sali Richardson as Zoe
• Alice Braga as Anna
• Willow Smith and Marley
• Emma Thompson as Dr. Alice Krippin

What more can be said Will Smith, he perfectly captures Robert Neville. He is said to have spent a week alone in his apartment preparing for the film. I can’t even Imagine Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tom Cruise who were the first two cast in the role. It is interesting to note that Marley was played by Smith’s daughter Willow. She said she was excited to be “playing” with her dad in the movie. Smith also used his son is another movie of his, “The Pursuit of Happiness.” He’s training them young to fill the big shoes their daddy wears.

Ratings and Suggestions

The movie is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of science fiction action and violence. The theatrical release is 100 minutes long and the alterative version is four minutes longer. This is definitely a DVD you want to own. The DVD comes with a many great features such as three deleted scenes, animated cartoons, and the alternative version I mentioned above.

The theater version gets three out of four stars and the alterative gets four out of four stars which comes out to: three and half out of four stars.

The Happening (2008) – Jeff’s Early Review

“The attacks are spreading.”

Jeff’s Synopsis

Something is causing people to kill themselves. Hundreds and thousands of people, for no explained reason are suddenly doing whatever they can to end their lives. Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) plays a high school science teacher trying to figure it all out before it’s to late. However once it’s learned what is causing this “happening” it may be too late to stop it.

Review

Originally titled “The Green Effect,” M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening” will scare the hell out of you. That is, if you like M. Night Shyamalan work. The happening has everything a viewer could want from a horror movie. Suspense, check. Terror, check. Fright, check. Mystery, check. Solid acting, well, for the most part.

Not everyone will be happy with Mark Wahlberg’s performance, but I loved it. He’s confidant, and commanding which allows him to take command of every scene he is in. Zooey Deschanel, plays his wife Alma. They share some chemistry together, but nothing like it could have been with a different actress. Her delivery is very hallow and it distracts from the film. She was the same way in “Tin Man,” the Sci-Fi channel’s remake of The Wizard of Oz. She gets increasing better as the movie goes on, but I’m surprised they went with her for the role.

The Happening has some really frightening scenes. A man gives himself up for dinner to a lion and we get to watch it all on someone’s iPhone via youtube. It’s creative and original all the while delivering some of the most subdued suspense you can expect from M. Night Shyamalan.

So what is “happening,” I won’t spoil it, but I know there will be some crazy environmentalist groups nodding their heads in agreement. That being said, it doesn’t distract from anything and the movie never feels like a sermon. I wish however they would have kept the original name “The Green Effect.” It just makes more sense and gives the movie more depth.

The film reminded me a lot of a Stephen King book called “The Cell.” The book had terrorists using signals in cell phones to turn everyone in to murdering zombies. The book was published in the early 2006 (thanks Alisa). I have to believe that M. Night was inspired in part by King’s book.

Cast

• Mark Wahlberg as Elliot Moore
• Zooey Deschanel as Alma Moore
• John Leguizamo as Julian
• Ashlyn Sanchez as Jess
• Betty Buckley as Mrs. Jones
• Spencer Breslin as Josh
• Robert Bailey Jr. as Jared
• Frank Collison as the nursery owner
• Jeremy Strong as Private Auster
• Alan Ruck as the principal
• Victoria Clark as the nursery owner’s wife
• M. Night Shyamalan as Joey

Ratings and Suggestions

The movie is rated R for violent and disturbing images. This is not a movie for children or young teenagers. Some of the scenes will make you turn your head. This is a major plus for many adults and the studio has even used their “R” rating as a marketing device. The film opens this Friday (the 13th) against the Incredible Hulk. It should do good, despite being up against such a power house. The movie is awesome and I recommend it. Three out of four stars.

Spoilers – The Ending and why many may not like the movie (Copy section to see)

I was very curious to see if they would kill off Elliot, Alma and Jess. If the movie was really honest with itself, they would have died. And besides the horrid acting of Zooey Deschanel, they should never have had Jess speak. Her first words of “Okay Aunt Alma. I love you.” Was way too forced and sticky. They should have just let Jess hug Alma tight and let that speak for itself. This was a big mistake and I think will help people leave the theater with a negative taste in their mouth. Just pretend like it never happened, and I think you’ll enjoy the film more.

The final ending with the green effect happening again in a far off, foreign country works. We didn’t see any one take their life, but it left you will a cold chill, knowing this thing is far from over…

Get Smart (2008)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

American Beauty (1999)

Shutter (2008)

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

What Happens in Vegas

I would like to meet the salesmen who sold this movie to the studio. The film is full of tired, movie cliches that have been used dozens of time on the big screen and on every sitcom in the 80′s and 90′s. Dana Fox’s screenplay is an assult on the intellegence of every movie goer who will sit in a theater and pay good money to see her film.

An unlikely couple comes together from across the country and find each other married in Vegas. Of course they were so wasted at their wedding, they don’t realize what they’ve done until they wake up the next morning. This whole idea of them getting married while they were drunk is just ridiculous. Beside the fact it’s against the law in the state of Nevada to marry while intoxicated, it’s equally unbelievable that the justice would marry them!

They agree a divorce is necessary and plan to go their respective ways until Jack (Ashton Kutcher) wins three million dollars at the casino using a quarter given to him by Joy (Cameron Diaz). Craziness ensues until they end up in divorce court to settle who is owed the money. In an act of movie zaniness, the judge who sentences them to “six months of hard marriage” after which the money can be spit evenly. However they figure out if one of them files for divorce in the mean time the other gets the entire three million dollars.

The rest of the movie is full of insipid one liners and predictable gags, I’m not surprised to learn that many people have walked out on this movie half way through. If you do suffer all the way until the end, I know you won’t be shocked to learn these two crazy characters find they have more in common with each other then they originally believed. This movie was a waste of Ashton and Cameron’s talent. You may chuckle a couple of times, but I guarantee you’ll spend most of the time rolling your eyes. This film gets a half of star.

Mary Poppins (1964) Jeff’s Review

Wind’s in the east, mist comin’ in. Like something is brewin’ about to begin. Can’t put me finger on what lies in store. But I feel what’s to happen, all happened before. – Bert

Mary Poppins is a Walt Disney musical based on a series books from the beginning of the 19^th century. Jane and Michael Banks are two rambunctious children who drive their nannies crazy. Their parents have hired six of them in the past six months. Finally, their father who is a stern and no-nonsense man who spends very little time with his kids decides he would do the hiring instead of his wife. He places the following advertisement in the London Times:

A British nanny must be a general, The future empire lies within her hands, And so the person that we need, To mold the breed, Is a nanny who can give commands, A British bank is run with precision. A British home requires nothing less. Tradition, discipline and rules must be the tools. Without them, disorder, catastrophe, anarchy, In short you have a ghastly mess.

The children however have a different advertisement they wish their father to place:

If you want this choice position. Have a cheery disposition, Rosy cheeks, no warts. Play games, all sorts. You must be kind you must be witty. Very sweet and fairly pretty. Take us on outings give us treats. Sing songs bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel never give us castor oil or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter. And never smell of barley water. If you won’t scold and dominate us. We will never give you cause to hate us. We won’t hide your spectacles so you can’t see. Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea. Hurry, nanny! Many thanks. Sincerely, Jane and Michael Banks.

Their father is appalled and sends the children to their room. He rips up their ad and throws it in the fire place. However the wind picks it up and sends it up and out of their house.

The next day at eight o’clock in the morning sharp a long cue of potential nannies stand outside the house waiting to be interviewed. However a gust of wind blows them all down the street. Just then a magical woman flies from the clouds with the help of her umbrella. The children see her from their window and are instantly excited. She has rosy cheeks and everything they proclaim! Mr. Banks is flummoxed by the fact this nanny has the advertisement the children wrote (one he ripped up and threw in the fire place). He hires her and sends her right to work with the kids.

It’s not long before the kids realize Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews) is no ordinary nanny. She takes the children to the park where they meet Bert (Dick Van Dyke) and before know it she has them jumping inside one of his chalk paintings. She also has them floating on the ceiling for a tea party and performing magically games to clean their room.

This musical from 1964 is wonderful and captivating from start to finish. Andrews and Van Dyke have so much chemistry it oozes off the screen. Virtually every musical number is timeless and has become part of the American lexicon. Such as, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which is a word when you have no other words to say! I loved this film when I was young and I was surprised to see how much my little girl loves the movie today. At 139 minutes, this movie is a delight for the whole family! Four out of four stars!

Godfather III

Meet Joe Black

Early Review of Leatherheads (2008)

Review of the Green Mile (1999)